love makes seman taste better
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
