better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
