should my penis look like a turkey
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
