I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
