Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
