do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
