yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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