im gay
i know
yea but for you.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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