New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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