trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
