Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize