I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
