We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize