just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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