Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
