suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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