garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Randomize
