we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
