____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
