and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
