She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
