oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
