Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
