The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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