the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
