i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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