he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
