this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
