I will die if light touches me.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
