put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize