so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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