i don't like sucking hair
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Randomize
