the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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