her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize
