Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Randomize
