It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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