just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
My butt remains clenched, sir.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
