Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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