i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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