Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
