I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize