I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
