And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
