hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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