I just pynch a tree in the face
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
