Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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