All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
