WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Randomize
