if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
