do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
