hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Found your dick twin last night
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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