no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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