Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
