Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize