I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
pop tarts are not kleenex
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
