she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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