Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I FOUND THE LEGS
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
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