just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
