Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
