Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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