i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
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