The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
